A Peep Into My Thoughts!

Find my thoughts on cricket, poetry, politics and a lot more..




Tuesday, December 01, 2009

I dream of you, my dream!



Need no wings to fly always.. 

Need no eyes to see always..
Need no lips to murmur always..
What I need is to pick up a dream..
A dream that sets me on a flight..
A dream that shows me my world..
A dream that speaks my heart..
The more I chase her, the more she runs away, the more she eludes me..
One day I will, I certainly will, stand on the other side of the line,
Smile at her, rid her of all the curls, trace back to my first day of seeing her in my lil' twinkling eyes back on a winter night..
Hold her tight coz this night is different,
Way different to that first night where she was realised,
But not inside, not beside..
Tonight I have you, I sight you in me,
I feel like nursing you, I feel like playing with you,
I won't let you fly away, I have finally made you mine..
Coz' I am just not another dreamer, I am a lover..
I shall love you all night tonight,
Before I set my eyes to dream again,
Before I make a dream out of this dream!

42 comments:

  1. Its awesome.The comparison makes it all the more interesting to read and gives it a romantic touch...almost as if falling in love with the dream.And finally accomplishing it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. awesome ! very romantic... keep writing !

    ReplyDelete
  3. Shirshendu Roy! You never cease to amaze me! This is a masterpiece, sir. Waiting with bated breath for the next...

    ReplyDelete
  4. I haven't read any of your poems before. If I make the probable assumption, that this is your first, then I daresay that this is a promising atttempt.
    So here goes..
    I'll be dissecting the poem from a critic's point of view and then see the aesthetics.
    In poetry some freedom is obviously entitled to the post when it comes to grammar, and you used the freedom well. 'Need no...' implicitly says that its you, and it sounds perfect.
    However,
    "Way different TO that" is a plain grammatical glitch. It should be '.. different FROM..'
    Such things may seem trivial, to even seasoned readers but of I do believe that you strive to be a perfectionist.
    I feel you changed the time very abruptly. You talked about your wish to have the dream fulfilled and in the next moment, the reader sees that "tonight" you had the dream. If there had been a line of indicating the precise transition here, a layman would not need to ruminate about what just happened.

    Now the aesthetics..
    The emotions are shown well. But where you need to work is imagery. Its the greatest weapon that you can employ in such poems. Try painting images more often.
    The continual use of repeated lines ( the last line is part-verbose, but I like to say it that way) is good, and has the effect intended.
    Finally (phew!), a decent effort. Keep writing! The apex isn't very away!

    ReplyDelete
  5. one day u will, u certainly will .... even dream will feel so magically nice after seeing your feelings that she'll stop tantalizing.

    ReplyDelete
  6. kwell..itzzz outstading performance by shrish (in ur sporty laguage as u do in cricbuzz [;)])..... i would say gud enuf 2 c ma bro changing mood frm the world of cricket to world of love !!! ...... i would say a last thing abut luv and tahtz "ℓυν ιѕ ℓιкє α ρυzzℓє.ωнєη υ'яє ιη ℓυν,αℓℓ тнє ριє¢єѕ ƒιт вυт ωнєη υ нєαят gєтѕ вяσкєη,ιт тαкєѕ α ωнιℓє тσ gєт єνєяyтнιηg вαк тσgєтнєя"... njoy.... best of luck !!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Amazed i'm... frankly i never felt you are so romantic.... good work

    ReplyDelete
  8. SHRISHENDUSWORTH OR SHIRSHENDUSPEARE....has managed to nicely pen down his dreams...into a soothing reality of words..A person who believes in living his dream has aptly described his dreams with his dream girl in picture....Who said cricket fanatics cant be romantists at heart....he not only has proved dat predicament wrong but has also shown another facet of his personality....kudos to u and may ur picture perfect description come true one day....keep writing such sensuous poems ,it might atleast provide some inspiration to people who aspire the DREAM OF FALLING IN LUV....

    ReplyDelete
  9. i was expecting a little more intent..as if it were written exclusively n being read 2 someone special..u hv set such high standards dat anything less is unacceptable !!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ah!! that was so beautiful!!!

    loved it thoroughly!!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Firstly, a BIG thanks to all who liked it and those who didn't like it, get a life guys ;) All offenses meant :D
    I'll try and come up with a new post every week, hope you will watch out for this space..
    And before I sign off, guys, is it that important to keep someone in mind and write? ;) A few mails want to know to whom is this lil' piece dedicated to! :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. i wonder woh is your muse???whoever it is...i just loved your piece its grt..rock on..expecting some more great pieces like this in future...

    ReplyDelete
  13. it was good shirsh..I rather did not expect something like this...Its more like a romance a person has with his dreams...last line did not leave a strong note.it was good but not strong..i hope u accept it gracefully but yet a great start...keep me buzzing wid ur posts.

    ReplyDelete
  14. very creative......d personification is awesom...just loved it....keep writing

    ReplyDelete
  15. I wasnt a really huge fan of "Beauty lies in simplicity"..But that was only until now...
    Praiseworthy poetry...keep writing..!!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Someone who is a commentator does indeed know how to express. So the wonderful expression doesn't surprise me at all. Neither am I too cock-a-hoop about it. The commendable part is the analogy, the metaphorical way of treating a dream like the girl of your dreams is praiseworthy indeed. And the other aspect which deserves accolades is the ability to express in more than one forms. Keep up the good work...

    Love,
    Nishant.

    ReplyDelete
  17. so..commentator turned poet huh!! i am pleasantly surprised by ur poetry!! good job|! keep it up!! cant figure out whether u have personified a dream as a girl or simply written about ur dream girl!! he he!! watever it is..its awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  18. I’m impressed by the way you write and by the way you play with “DREAMS”.
    Keep writing. Cheers
    Abdullah

    ReplyDelete
  19. this an incredible piece of perfect feelings of love...keep it up..quite imprssive..the gurl is quite lucky..:)

    ReplyDelete
  20. this is an incredible flow of perfect love n emotions....nice work..keep writing..its quite motivating:)

    ReplyDelete
  21. TO
    his dream,

    need no words to comment...
    or critics to win appreciation..
    he is crazy n lazy
    but above all sensible and subtle..
    young dreams christened with copius emotion n garlanded with passion...
    dats shirshendu for u..
    a dreamer...

    ReplyDelete
  22. Shirshendu Roy! What to say abt this guy, that has not been said before. A romantic, a die hard lover, a loyalist in all senses, a fine commentator and now an aspiring poet. He has done it all and wants some more. A good start to ur new career, good use of words, carefully chosen and written from the heart. Shirsh, u have shown us another side of u which is not known - a soft mellow, callow youth - deep in love and enjoying it too. You rock man, hoping for more such poetry from u.
    PS: Shirsh, pls dont become a poet and neglect ur commentary career. Hope u get the drift...
    With love
    Torchi...

    ReplyDelete
  23. On reading this one, I remembered "I dreamed a dream" song by Susan Boyle. I am sure you have heard of her, if not google ;)

    Your poem is a simple one set in lightest of moods, but it provokes some deep thoughts. Well written :)

    ReplyDelete
  24. WHOA...
    Is it the shirishendu i kno...
    I am deeply surprised.
    But at the same time Super-Fantastic work. Keep it up..!!! I will wait until next week.

    ReplyDelete
  25. its nice, liked it very much.. keep ur good work n may all ur dream comes true. Wish u all d very best!

    ReplyDelete
  26. oh now gud 2 c d commentator-turned-blogger(or should i say poet?) gr8 work!!!! especially d metaphor got me!waitin 4 more posts...keep posting!

    ReplyDelete
  27. its very nice...
    well written and articulate...to have something like this frm a person of teh cricketing world is commendable..keep it up.

    ReplyDelete
  28. excellent and a perfect definition to dreams given in d form of words....a very passionate feel of dreams yaar..m proud of u my best buddy..dint know abt dis virtue in u..
    and as i had already told u..i loved line "i m nt another dreamer,i am ur lover"..keep writing such masterpieces...
    3 cheers to u..!!! good luck

    ReplyDelete
  29. hey did yuo write that all on ur own.... thats awsome..... banglay...phata-phati....
    i never knew u wrote so well....
    AMMAZING... I'VE just no words to describe its beauty....!!!!!!!!!!
    keep writting.....

    ReplyDelete
  30. Hmm.. Commentator turned Poet.. What next Shirish.. an Autobiography??

    ReplyDelete
  31. wahh sapno ke saudagar....too romantic.....dude.........:)

    ReplyDelete
  32. looks like someone's struck by cupid
    but must say dude really romantic poem
    reminds me of the twiligt series
    really romantic and appeals young adult people i mean guys of our age
    way to go shirshendu:D

    ReplyDelete
  33. Very nice...........great work for an attempt...keep going.

    ReplyDelete
  34. man..u r writing kickass stuff man!!
    where were you man??
    warming eggs in siberia??

    ReplyDelete
  35. really shirshendu ....this has showed me a different side of urs...hoping 2 see many such good works fro u in future,.....grt job.good luck fr the future.....

    ReplyDelete
  36. well a vryy nice attempt...got 2 c a new side of dis commentator....i hope so dat ur desires r all fulfiled....bcoz u dnt wanna b cald a "dreamer".....as u simply believe in turnin ur dreamz-cum-desires in2 reality...

    ReplyDelete
  37. I dont understand this poem and I cant write a testimonial like Torchi but since you are so desperate for a comment, I will say "Ati uttam"

    ReplyDelete
  38. Truly enthralling i wud say......it's short,sweet n simple.This is 4 every1 out dere who is scared of dreamin.......dreamin big.I'm sure sirsh has made quite a decent effort 2 make u all dream n dream n dream more......

    ReplyDelete
  39. elution of the truest emotions...confessions of a sincere heart...description of a lovely dream...aspirations 4 the dream 2 come true...all of these hav been blended in this post.....
    real good job,Roy!!!u r seemingly becoming a pragmatic LOVER!!!:-P

    ReplyDelete
  40. Personal yet objective, romantic yet calculated, touchy and careful choice of words. I am delighted that one of my friend is diving into the world of poetry. Wordsworth defined poetry as "the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings; and he went on to say "Dust as we are, the immortal spirit grows
    Like harmony in music; there is a dark
    Inscrutable workmanship that reconciles
    Discordant elements, makes them cling together
    In one society."

    now i feel this might fit into your scheme of big things.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Amazing!! I had heard a lot about you, it's been a pleasure to read :)

    ReplyDelete